What do you feel when the first love of yours suddenly crept into your mind after long time you don't even think bout him anymore, hhahaha. yep. i felt that, when i got nothing to do i didn't know where that mind came from but suddenly i saw his face, the way he smile , in my mind. kinda weird rite? (since i dont love him anymore)lol.
Talking bout him, i just remember that time i did like to see him (is that called love, or just an admiration? well, im not too good in that kinda thing, so me, myself dont know whats that exactly,hahahhaa). but as im thinking bout that past now, seems like myself is a shy (too say if i cud say) coz you know, every girl shud cheer or going crazy whenever they see their crush are walking pass 'em (thats a normal act, isnt it? ). but here, you see me.. im just get my face down, looking on the ground and didnt bother to take even just a glance at him.. whoaaa.. when i remember that time, its seems like im gonna make my face red when i encourage myself to see him. but whats next? when my eyes accidentaly met her gaze, that bring myself to be a panic person and even make my face redder, omooo~~ blushing like crazy, eh? (dont dare to say im not normal for being like this, lol)
Now i dont get enough courage and interest to just start the new feeling, its not that im afraid im gonna ended the same, but i think as my age become older and maybe (i think) im now wiser, kkekekekke~~ i just need to consider and think about everything when i talk bout crush or shud i call it 'the one' start from now? i dont feel any ease when talking bout my crush, its not like back then when im a high schooler and still a teenager, (hhahaha, so im thinking of myself as an old lady now? the ahjumma? LOL). when im still a teenager, i mean when i still a high schooler, i find it fun to just say that is my type, hes so cool. whoaaa, i think im going crazy, i know i fall for him, wahhh, so cool. i do have a crush on him, and blah blah blah, the next thing i knew that time is that im starting to be a talkative girl and dont wanna stop mumbling, talking bout the boy i had my crush on, kekkekekeke~ that must be crazy, rite? but yeahhh, its kinda fun and i like it, i sometimes want to be back in that time, when so much more fun is easier to find and the sad ending or the bads are too far away from my wonderful daily list :D
i just dont get what people say that the first love is the most meaningful and the love that we will keep it here, in my heart, for long time, even after we find the nth or the nuest love of ours. hmm, whaddaya think?? kinda agree wid this or wanna think of it as a contradiction, lol. well, thats up to you. for me, that not fully right, yeah, thats because nothing is 100 % rite,hahahah. so in my opinion, love is not about the first, second, third or nth, but it may be considered by its value, how deep is our feeling toward him actually is. after seeing that fact we will actually know that no matter which love he is, the first or the last, we will treasure it the most as long as its the most valuable thing for our lifetime (hmm, kinda serious, eh?).
Im not a good one whenever talking or discussing about love, a lil did i know bout it. actually im a kinda girl that dont like to have such a serious relationship, i think i like to make friends with all people and consider them all the same. well, thats why my mom always tell me to look for a rite guy to have a serious relationship. hahha, serious relationship? are you serious mom? for me the serious thing is gaining more and more ability and reach whatever i needed and i wanted
so, first love that suddenly come to my mind isnt the sign of remembering him but well,a lil bit part of my heart dont mind it actually,kekkekeke~ since i loved him back then. i dont know why i liked him, but i know i never regret i ever loved him, in this case is secretly loved him,lol. and i know this first love may lead me to the real one, the one i love someday, and that first love made me ever taste how it feel when we are in love :D
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